Ass Blaster

 Well, I was sifting through some of the pictures that I have in my file, looking for something to write about. I actually was going to go out and take a picture of some of my gardening stuff, since it's that time of year, but my camera crapped the bed so to speak. Actually, it was just  a matter of having to charge the battery, but that takes hours, and I don't want to wait that long, so I'm settling for a picture of a bottle of hot sauce called Ass Blaster.

One of the kids thought I would enjoy it, and gave it to me for Christmas some years back. If you're reading this, whoever sent it, don't be offended, but I gave it away. I did hang on to  the box though.  Do you see the picture of the underwater volcano? I think if I had partaken of the aforementioned hot sauce, that probably would have been an accurate portrayal of my nether regions. I like Pace Picante sauce. It adds a little flavor to different dishes. Cha Cha potatoes comes to mind. They are mashed potatoes with salsa, shredded cheddar, green onions and it seems like something else. Correction- I just checked with Jan and she said nothing else goes in. In any event, for a different take on mashed potatoes, give them a try. Anyway, usually I eat my salsa with some cheese and crackers, although Mexican quiche also requires salsa as one of the ingredients. Otherwise it would be plain old quiche without that Mexican pizzazz. Oh, I just remembered, another recipe that calls for salsa is Spicy oat crusted chicken with Sunshine Salsa. The Sunshine Salsa is just half a cup of Pace and half a cup of sliced oranges mixed together. I know it doesn't sound all that good, but trust me, when you put it on the chicken, it's a delight. Of course none of the things I mentioned would work with Ass Blaster. It doesn't have the same consistency, plus who wants to be in pain after they eat? Even worse is the fear of knowing that in the morning what you ate the night before was going to come back and haunt you. Take a look at that second picture. It's enough to keep you awake all night just worrying about what was in store for you.

I don't usually experiment with my food, but some years back, I think I was forced into trying something new. I might have been out of cheese or perhaps crackers. In any event, I was eating a bowl of popcorn and the grand idea of putting Pace Picante on my popcorn entered my mind. I tried it, and it was delightful. The one downfall is that the popcorn gets a little soggy, and you have to eat it with a spoon, but no doubt it's far healthier for you than butter and salt.

So, there you have it.  Unless you were born with a jalapeno in your mouth, you should probably avoid the more radical hot sauces and stick with something that can actually be eaten. Your bowels will thank you.