Wilderness Blues- Ramblings from the Great Land

      Last weekend I took my grandson Dante' to Home Depot to buy some toilets. We left the store with not one, not two, but three "comfort" toilets. I should point out that Dante' is a bit of an expert when it comes to toilets. You would think that I would be since I've had so much more experience using them down through the years. However, he's worked as a plumber, so I trust his knowledge. I once had a plumber tell me that there were only two things you needed to know in order to be plumber- crap flows down hill and payday is Friday. I have a feeling he was over simplifying the job, otherwise more of us would be making the big bucks that plumbers make. There was nothing wrong with the toilets that we had, they were just too short. After my knee surgery, I had a toilet riser that I borrowed from a charity that carries all manner of things needed for folks who have had surgery, wheelchairs, walkers, toilet risers, canes, shower seats and I don't know what...

  This past Wednesday morning, I had to roust out of my bed early so that I could make a trip to the hospital for a scheduled knee replacement surgery. I've been through this procedure once before, on my left knee, now it was time to experience the joy on my right one. Part of the reason I haven't been on Fan Story much lately is because of the preparation involved prior to the operation. I wanted to get all my papers together to send down to the accountant so I wouldn't be trying to do tax papers while I was in a pleasant stupor brought on by the powerful drugs that the doctor prescribed for the post surgery operation. I also wanted to get all the bills paid up and had the oil changed in the car so Jan wouldn't have to think about it, not that changing the oil in the car would have occurred to her otherwise, but just as a precaution. I'd forgotten about how many tests I'd have to undergo in the week or so prior to visiting the hospital. I had an EKG, a blood te...

  One of the more distressing issues of getting older are the various physical changes that I've had to deal with as time marches on, and I get dragged along in its wake. I don't mind a few wrinkles, and having to spend less time in the barber chair doesn't distress me so much, but lately I've been dealing with an ever-expanding gut, and apparently a decrease in the amount of fat in my butt, or so it would seem. I can't really say for sure that my butt is getting bonier; I can't really see it, but it sure feels that way. It used to be that when I would spend an extended period of time in the car, I would have to remove my billfold to keep from causing an undue amount of pain over the long haul. Now it seems like a short trip to the grocery store, a mere fifteen minutes away, presents the same problem. Just now I removed the offending obstacle from my back pocket so I could write this short article in peace. At first I thought perhaps it was because my wallet was...

  While the title might sound like a category for the game of Jeopardy, it's not. It's just a reflection of some of what I find when I'm out picking up trash on the side of the road.   When we returned from church today, I was driving up a road close to home and noticed a Mike's Hard Lemonade bottle off to the side. I was afraid that if a car was coming in the opposite direction, it would be easy to run over. Of course I wasn't thinking about someone else running over it as much as I was thinking how mad I would be if I ran over it. Years ago, I would have just hoped that such a thing didn't happen, and I'd go home and forget about it. However, either because I've matured, or I've had enough experience to know that Murphy's law would certainly come into play and I'd be the unfortunate clown who destroyed his tires, I decided to come back with my grabber and a large plastic trash bag and pick it up.   Picking up trash is like eating Lays Potat...

About a month ago, I broke down and bought myself a new mattress. The last one I bought was shortly after we  moved in to Hoonah from the farm. I guess the one I had was roughly forty years old. I know, I know, who has a mattress for that long? Well, obviously, I did. About ten years ago I had bought a topper for it at Costco, and it made it fairly comfortable until just recently. I was waking up every day with back pain, and I tossed and turned all night trying to find a comfortable spot. Obviously, it was time to buy another one.  I had seen advertisements for the Purple mattress, and they were quite clever. One ad showed an egg on the mattress and over six hundred pounds of sheet glass being lowered onto it, without the egg breaking. That was impressive, but I'm not an egg, and I'm fairly certain I'll never have six hundred pounds forcing me down into the mattress. I had visions of trying to get myself out of bed in the morning and sinking into the waffle design. It migh...

  My wife and I invited my friend Matt over for dinner last Sunday. He's been undergoing a number of medical procedures, and she had told him that after he returned from his stint at the hospital down in Seattle, she would invite him over for steak and cake. As it turned out, he didn't need to return to Seattle for further surgery, the gaping wound in his chest was healing nicely and at the rate he is going, he'll be in a position to qualify for a kidney in six months or so.    I believe I had mentioned in an earlier post about him, that he had lost his second leg, was on dialysis, and had surgery to replace a valve in his heart. He'd had to go to the hospital in Seattle at least once to correct an infection in the mesh  that was used to repair his heart. He was anticipating having to return to the hospital  and have his bottom rib removed to replace one of  his clavicles  which was broken and not mending, and they were going to try to fix the hole in ...