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Showing posts from January, 2024

The Colonoscopy That Wasn't

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  FAQ:   What are certificates?  |  What are stars?  |  How do I become a ranked author? Sometimes I feel like a character in the Gary Larson cartoon- The Far Side. He always portrayed goofy looking animals or characters in bizarre situations. One of my favorites showed a lady jumping out of a burning building, striking a trampoline - like device that the firemen are holding, and bouncing into another building that is also on fire. I found that hilarious, but then I have a weird sense of humor. The reason I mention this is it appears that no matter what I do in my life, something out of the ordinary always seems to come up. For instance, I was at my doctors office a few months ago. We talked about private matters like my prostate. I told him I wasn't going to go for any more prostate exams. The exam entails a doctor sticking his digit up your back side and feeling around. The last time I visited my old doctor, I told him I wasn't going to do the finger trick anymore. "How

Mr. Clean

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  When I moved to Alaska and discovered that I could be paid to catch fish, I was ecstatic. All I needed was a boat and a license, both of which were procured within two years of moving here. Like most jobs, there are certain aspects that are enjoyable and others that aren't so much so. Catching fish was a lot of fun; cleaning up the mess it created didn't bring nearly as much joy. Because I was catching salmon using hook and line, the fish brought a higher price than ones that were caught in nets. Each fish was brought on board individually, stunned, and bled by cutting the gills, and then cleaned and put in ice. Salmon have a tendency to put up a fight and even though they may be clubbed and gaffed, they sometimes would thrash around the deck, especially Humpies. Pink salmon, or Humpback salmon- Humpies, are the smallest of the Pacific salmon, ranging from two to five pounds on average. They are worth the least amount of money and are the hardest to kill, frequently tearing o

Putting Away Christmas

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  I'm sure we're all familiar with the old saying that what goes up must come down. While it may not be referring to Christmas decorations, the same is true nonetheless. Today I got started on the mighty chore of having to remove the decorations from outside. All the hard work I had to go through a few days after Thanksgiving has to be reversed. When I was decorating the house, I had my I pod and was listening to Christmas music. It helped me to get in the mood. I always enjoy having the lights and garland on the outside of the house. When you live in a place where the winter nights last about eighteen or more hours, coming home to some brightly shining colored lights helps to lighten the mood. When I was a kid, we never decorated the outside of the house. Those were the days before LED lights, so each bulb drew a fair amount of power I'm sure, and they got hotter than a welder's apron. Lighting the outside of your house was something that was reserved for those who wer