The Sick Pack



     Jen came for a visit the other night. Apparently she had picked up a cold when she went to Juneau last week. Nothing like being crammed into a confined space with hundreds of other folks to test the old immune system. I hadn't seen much of her recently so I kind of wanted to talk to her and show her what I was doing with the new book and get some input. I knew that she was sick, so before she arrived I grabbed out a large bottle of Cran-raspberry juice for her to take home. I guess it's full of vitamin C or some such thing. Then I got to thinking, maybe I should get a mask for her to wear so I  don't catch her cold. She thought that was funny, but she didn't wear it, maybe because it was a dust mask like you'd use when sanding sheet rock and not one like doctors and nurses wear. I guess if a doctor wanted to do a little construction around his house he'd have a ready store of surgical supplies on hand and wouldn't have to worry about running to the hardware store when he was in the middle of a project. I wonder if surgeons ever take any tools of the trade  home to do a little fancy work on the vegetables. I would think a scalpel would be the ticket if you wanted to make a rose out of radishes.
   In any event, I had a little time to think about the kind of things that would be good to have on hand if you have a cold. Then I thought, wouldn't it be nice if there were ready made baskets that you could give to your sick friends and family members? You could buy the economy basket, with a twelve ounce bottle of orange juice, a two pack of aspirin and a travel size package of Kleenex. That would be for someone that you want to know that you're thinking about them, but you're not going to go broke trying to make them feel better. There would be the medium size basket, with a tin of aspirin or Tylenol, a quart size bottle of OJ, a mid-sized box of Puffs tissues, a can of Campbell's chicken noodle soup and a jar of Vicks Vapo-rub. You might buy this for a boss that you like but don't want to give the appearance of being a brown- noser. Then there's the deluxe basket for someone you really love and want to feel better... like yourself. There would be a quart of OJ, a quart of Cranberry juice, a fifth of Smirnoff vodka ( in case the juice isn't getting the job done) a family size box of extra soft tissues, a bottle of Nyquil, a couple of boxes of Mrs. Grasses  deluxe chicken noodle soup, some Laurel and Hardy movies to help you forget how miserable you are,a Costco sized bottle of Ibuprofen and a hundred count package of fruit flavored cough drops. If you're really feeling strung out and wimpy you could get the basket with all of the above plus the optional box of Depends, just in case it's too much effort to get up and move around. I should probably contact a few of the big pharmacies like CVS or Walgreen's to see if they would be interested in carrying the SICK PACK's. No doubt folks everywhere will soon be wanting one.