Two Men and A Boy


 

Jan asked me to vacuum the living room carpet a few minutes ago, she said she can't do it. Really? You can't vacuum the carpet? I know she's on the weak side, but this is ridiculous. I soon found that she wasn't kidding. I started pushing the vacuum and was breaking out in a sweat. I was about ready to hire a dog sled team to clean our floor. Last year we installed carpet in the living room. We opted for the really good pad, I guess extra thick or something, not realizing that for as comfortable as it may be to walk around on, cleaning it was going to take two men and a boy. Holy cats. I damn near got a hernia. I can imagine going to the doctor and when he asked what I was doing that was so strenuous I had to explain that I was vacuuming my carpet. I'd probably be laughed right out of the office.  I think that a new sport should be introduced for the Olympics- carpet cleaning. It would really separate the men from the boys. If you got a gold medal in vacuuming, you really were an athlete extraordinaire. I'm glad that our living room isn't any bigger, if it was, I'd probably have to put a fence around it and just look at it. I'd never be able to get it clean. I think that all the merchants that carry carpet should have a sample nailed down to the floor with a good vacuum nearby so that the buyers don't get in over their heads. Maybe there should be a doctor on standby just to see if the prospective buyers are in good enough shape to own a particular type of flooring. "I'm sorry sir, but that's our top of the line model, and frankly, you're just too wimpy to own this unless you're going to hire a body builder to come in once a week and clean it for you." It could start a whole new industry- Hooverites, guys that specialized in vacuuming thick carpets. One thing is for certain, I'd never make the grade. I had to come down and rest after my bout with the vacuum. Who knew staying tidy could be such a chore?

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