This Is a Man's World

     I imagine that those looking at this particular post are probably wondering-"what the heck is Botts showing me a picture of a stinking mop for?" Well, I'll tell you why. I have a contract to clean a government building here in town, which of course involves mopping. I needed a mop awhile back when the one I had finally started showing signs of old age. The strings were falling out, I couldn't tighten the hardware any more so the head started flopping back and forth and the handle was developing splinters. My wife happened to be going to Juneau so she picked  me up a new one. Now, I don't mean to be ungrateful. As you know, beggars can't be choosers. That being said, let me just mention that buying a mop is like buying underwear- one size doesn't fit all. It would be nice if it did- then as you got fatter, or in the unlikely event that you lost weight, you wouldn't have to go through your underwear drawer  and start tossing your boxers and briefs in the trash. It seems like a terrible waste, but people kind of balk at the idea of receiving hand-me-down clothes that have been in intimate contact with your private parts. Go figure. Anyway, I was well pleased when I first saw the mop, thinking it would fit the bill. For reasons unknown though, the manufacturer sewed the bottom of the strings. I guess it must have seemed like a good idea at the time, but in my opinion it wasn't. When I was mopping the stick would sway in my hands  like we were dancing. Maybe the handle was made from a rubber tree, I don't know.The mop seemed kind of wimpy to me, and it didn't get into the corners like I felt it should. If I'm going to clean something I don't want it to look just as bad when I'm finished as it did when I started. That being said, when we returned from our trip we had a day's layover in Juneau so I stopped in to Home Depot to pick up some cleaning supplies; you know, Mr. Clean and some window spray. I was passing by the stick goods when I noticed the mop in the picture. Now that was a man's mop- good solid wooden stick, steel hardware and enough strings to make a wig for Dolly Parton. The thing weighed about six pounds before it ever saw a drop of water.  I should have considered that before I bought it, but I didn't. As per usual, I found out after the fact that I should have given the matter a little more consideration. When I first broke it in, I filled the mop bucket and inserted Big Bob.It was so hefty I felt like it needed a manly name. As soon as I lifted it to the wringer, half the water in the bucket was gone. Thunderation! This was one thirsty mop! I somehow managed to shove the whole mop head into the wringer and pushed down on the handle with all my might hoping to remove some of the three gallons of water that had been sucked up. When I tried to lift the handle it didn't want to release and I had to practically stand on the bucket to keep it from tipping while I wrestled with the wringer. When I finally got it loose and started mopping I was amazed at the swath that it covered. With a few passes I managed to mop  half the room. It was like I had a sheet of plywood on the end of the handle. I have to say though that it was quite a workout. To get some idea of what it was like, strap a ten pound bag of potatoes to a five foot dowel and swing it back and forth across the floor. By the time I finished I was sweating a river and had a sore back and bulging biceps, to say nothing of the bulge in my gut that I think was a hernia from trying to lift that mop from the bucket. While I was working I kept hearing that classic song by James Brown- This is a Man's World.  One thing is for certain, this is a man's mop. I just hope I'm man enough to keep swinging it.