MR.Brows

 I went into the bathroom today to do something, probably the usual things that you would do in the bathroom, and as I was looking in the mirror I became aware of my eyebrows. If I could have gotten a closeup picture of just my eyebrows I would have. They're so big that I had to grow a mustache just to distract people. I notice that I seem to squint a lot, like I'm looking into the sun. Of course there isn't much sun here normally to look at, so obviously that's not the problem. The reason I seem to squint is that my eyebrows have a tendency to poke me in the eyes- the very thing they're supposed to be protecting! What gives? Periodically I trim them, but it doesn't really seem to help, I think it just causes them to grow at odd angles, mainly all in a downward direction towards my eyeballs. My dad had bushy eyebrows. They were pretty intimidating. It's probably a good thing that men have pretty bushy ones. It would be hard to be a person in authority if you had to paint your eyebrows on as is the case with some ladies I know. Who would take a judge seriously if he was sitting on the bench in a gown and eyebrows that were the result of Maybellene? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of female judges that can be pretty intimidating. Lord knows I've met some gals who I wouldn't want to cross, and they don't sit on the bench. Anyway, as I was saying, my dad's were pretty bushy. He was a contractor and used to come home after a day at work, running the saw or planer or some other wood working tool and I'm fairly sure each eyebrow probably held a good half pound of sawdust. I should dip mine in some sawdust so that it looks like I've been working hard. It would be my luck that someone would see that and want me to build them a set of cabinets or some such thing, then what would I do? The jig would be up and I'd half to admit that I came by my rugged appearance falsely. Some years ago, when I worked at the school, there was a young lady who seemed to be in constant need of attention. You never knew what she would do next so we were always on guard around her. One day she came waltzing down the hallway and I noticed something didn't look right, but what was it? I was staring at her face when one of the more observant students yelled, " Amanda shaved her eyebrows!"  That's what it was! Holy smokes! I don't recommend doing that, no matter how starved for attention you are. It looks a little odd to put it mildly. I don't know if they itch when they grow back in or not. Fortunately it's not a fad that ever caught on that I know of. Obviously shaving my brows isn't an option; however, perhaps I could create some special barrettes just to hold them back. I could be stylish and still keep those pesky hairs from poking me. Maybe I could design special ones that look like sawdust so that you wouldn't really have to dip your face in the dust pile, you just clip on a pair. Guess I better get to work. They probably won't be ready in time for Christmas this year, but keep your eyes pealed next year. No doubt they'll be in all the high end catalogues.