Remote Control

 It's been snowing and cold for the past several weeks ; in fact it's been setting records for both snow and cold all around Alaska. It's kind of  scary to think that it's not even winter yet. I didn't really want to post any pictures of snow blowing and trees bent with the force of the wind.  Instead I decided to post pictures of Rigby. He's got the right idea- hide under the sleeping bag or if you have to leave the warm comfort of bed, find a place in the sun to relax. While I was talking to my daughter Camille the other day, he hopped up on the back of the couch to look out the window. Apparently he saw something that didn't meet with his approval and started barking to beat the band. He's got a really shrill bark, about what you would expect from a small dog. It's really irritating to listen to and especially so if you happen to be talking on the phone or listening to something on TV. I happened to glance down at the remote control on my chair and had another great idea. What if I could get a remote that would control my dog's bark?You know, you're watching your favorite show and the dog goes ballistic because someone he doesn't like is walking down the street. Just hit the mute button on the remote and he can bark all he wants, but no sound comes out. I know that they make shock collars that are supposed to keep them from barking, but what about those rare occasions when you want them to sound off? Like if someone was sneaking in at night while you're sleeping or not at home, instead of a wimpy,little,squeeky bark that would alert the intruder that the dog he was dealing with was just a punk with a loud voice, what if, before you left the house or went to bed, you turned the dial  on the dog remote so that the bark sounded like a vicious German Shepard or Doberman Pincer? The intruder would think twice before entering your domain. Especially if he happened to spot huge piles in the front yard.Since I have so many other dogs leaving me gifts on my lawn,  I wouldn't have any problem  making people believe I had a large dog with the DOG MOTE. Just set it and go to bed.  If you happen to live in a gated community where all the dogs aren't much bigger than chipmunks, the DOG-MOTE would come with optional droppings in assorted big dog sizes. They would be plastic or rubber, thus weather resistant and you could move them around the yard to lend an air of authenticity. You could order either the Great Dane or St. Bernard size. No doubt burglars everywhere would think twice before attempting a break in. Just set the DOG MOTE before you tuck Fido into his down comforter and sleep in peace. I guess I'll be contacting the patent office soon.