Tis' the Season- To Put on Pounds

 

  

My wife, Jan, has spent the last few days baking. It was quite a monumental effort requiring her to clean the kitchen three times one day alone. I can attest to the fact that baking is a messy business. Whenever I make Mexican Quiche  I incorporate all the counter space. I'm too cheap to pay for pre-made pie crusts, so I make my own, thus I need room for the flour and Crisco and a big bowl. Then I have to drag out the eggs, a cutting board for the veggies, and bowls for the salsa and canned milk. What a mess. In any event, I was glad that she cleaned up after herself. It makes eating the cookies she's baked all the more pleasant.

As you can see, she made ample amounts of chocolate chip cookies, both with nuts and without, some sugar cookies, and another kind that is coated in powdered sugar and rolled in crushed pecans. I can't recall what she called them, and I didn't have room for them in the picture, but it doesn't really matter. The bottom line is that they're fattening. Oh boy!

Of course we also have two boxes of candy on the table, plus some Kirkland egg nog; the kind that doesn't need a refrigerator. It's got whiskey, spiced rum, brandy, Irish cream and French vanilla. Hell, it's got the whole bar in one bottle. That's more booze than I drink in an entire year in one glass. My dear friends and neighbors, Butch and Patty brought a bottle over one night when we were playing cards. We each had two short glasses of it, and at the end of the night I really didn't care who won the game. Needless to say, it was tasty.

What I don't have shown in the above picture is the beef log that is so popular this time of year. Nor do you see the cheese, crackers, chips, salted nuts and sundry other goodies that I'm sure are stashed somewhere in the house. Just to kind of balance things out, I bought a three pound bag of mandarin oranges. You can't be too healthy you know.

To make matters worse I'm going to ask my oldest daughter Jen to make some halibut egg rolls when she comes for Christmas. They're cooked in a Fry Daddy deep fat fryer. Really, really healthy. 

In my defense, I do exercise four or five days a week, but the twenty minutes a day that I put in doesn't offset the other sixteen hours that I'm shoving something into my face. It that's as far as it went, I'd be fine, but it ends up on my gut. How can that be? My butt feels like it's shrinking, but my gut is growing like mold in a dark place. 

I'm holding out some hope for rescue though. Jen and Brian are both coming up for Christmas this year, and I believe my granddaughter Kaylahni as well. The problem is they don't eat that much. Tomorrow is Jan's birthday, and I think the whole family is coming over, so we might be able to get rid of a few dozen cookies then. I really hope so. I have a love/hate relationship with them. I love to eat them, but I hate what they do to me.

I hope all of you have a blessed Christmas, and if you find yourself in need of a cookie fix, you know where to come.