Been Thinking About Pockets

 

From time to time, I like to vent my frustration out in the open. In part because it makes me feel better to get something off my chest, and in part I'm hoping for a solution, or at the very least some agreement with my view.

Today I'd like to say a few words about pockets. They have been around for about five hundred years, and are a necessary part of every man's attire. Where else could we put our keys, glasses, pencils, telephones and dozens of other doo-dads? While I don't wear cargo pants, you know those trousers with umpteen pockets, I would probably be tempted to. However, I know how I am. In no time at all I'd have every pocket filled with something, just in case I needed it that day. Before you know it, I wouldn't be able to walk. Something like Swiss Army cargo pants might be a good idea. They would come pre-filled with only the necessities that the average man might need, plus a few extras, like some fishing line and a few hooks in case you passed by a stream and were overcome by the desire to fish. They would have to leave a few pockets empty so you could fill them with your billfold and keys. Perhaps you could have some custom made with an insulated lining to keep a sandwich hot while you were busy working. A cup holder on the side would be handy too.

The issue that got me to thinking about pockets, was the shirt I was wearing yesterday. Most days I wear flannel shirts. They are comfortable, come in a variety of colors, and as a general rule have two pockets in the front. The shirt I was wearing yesterday only had one. It was totally unacceptable. I have to carry my glasses in my shirt pocket, and usually I have a pen as well. Then of course I often stuff my I pod into the front pocket, and I always have a pack of Trident chewing gum, the package of which is wider than say, Juicy Fruit. By the time I have all that stuff in there, it looks like I've grown a lumpy boob. Men's flannel shirts should always have two pockets. For one thing, it kind of balances out the shirt. For another, there is never enough room for all of our stuff. One other feature that all flannel shirts should have is either buttons or snaps to keep the pockets closed and the contents within safe. On more than one occasion, I've leaned over the back of the boat to gaff a fish, and my glasses have fallen out. Twice I dropped a flip phone that I had stashed in a shirt pocket. Once it fell into the bilge, which was full of salt water and of course was ruined. The other time I was untying from the dock and it fell on the concrete float and broke apart.

I briefly looked in to a fly fishing vest. They have lots of pockets, and special loops for hanging your scissors, or small pliers or whatever else fly fishermen might use. I believe some have Velcro-like pieces on the vest for holding the flies. That would be cool. If I had one it would be my luck that real flies or more likely wasps would be stuck in the Velcro and I'd go nuts trying to remove them.

The bottom line is that men need pockets like women need purses. We've got to have a place to put our things without looking like chipmunks storing up for winter.

As a side note, I'd like to present a little history. Prior to the time of trousers, men used to carry their things in pouches, similar to purses. Fortunately they don't do that anymore, although things were looking pretty shaky when fanny packs came out.

The word pocket is believed to be derived from the Anglo-Norman word, pokete- little bag. I've never referred to anyone as a little bag, although there have been a few gals I've considered old bags.

I hope this you've found this post enlightening, and short of that, at least entertaining. And ladies, if you should ever have the urge to buy your male counterpart a shirt, please insure that it has two front pockets. Just consider them small bras that men wear on the outside and fill with things other than boobs.