A Little Chicken Humor

 

  I find myself in a constant state of uproar lately, primarily concerning the state of the country and the apparent willingness of so many people to sit back and let the government that they are supposed to control take the reigns and drive us to destruction. That being said, I can only be agitated so many hours a day before I need some comic relief. For some reason, this chicken card provides that relief for me. You kind of have to assume that this chicken or rooster has been around the block a few times, at least in chicken years, because he obviously doesn't care what he looks like. This is a birthday card and I believe the caption inside is "The older you get, the less you care." How true. Time marches on and there is only so much that you can do to hide what the years have wrought. Hair plugs, coloring and makeup can only do so much. The more desperate among us opt for plastic surgery or botox. That's fine, although you run the risk of screwing up what you had. I look at the exceptionally good looking country singer Kenny Rodgers as an example of what can go wrong. He was aging well, obviously getting older, but it looked good on him, and then for reasons unknown, he opted to go under the knife. What a botch job. He ended up looking like an alien.  I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to look your best, no matter what your age. I encourage people to eat right, exercise and get enough sleep, but if you get old enough, your hair is probably going to get gray, or white, and in some cases it's going to go on a permanent vacation. Your flesh will start to wrinkle and sag and if you're like me your hands will develop age spots and look like a leopard's skin. For many of us, weight becomes a bit more of a problem. As we slow down and get less active, many of us still eat like we're working an eight hour day. To help combat the problem, or at least kind of hold it at bay, I walk on the treadmill five days a week, do some stretching exercises for my arms and lift some ten pound dumbbells. I don't think I've lost any weight, but my arms have toned up and it looks like I may be getting my bicepts back.  However, that hasn't done a thing for my gut, which looks like I've swallowed a bowling ball. There was a gal back in Hoonah who had a forty pound tumor removed from her stomach. I had just assumed that she had a severe beer belly. I guess it's probably too much to hope that such a surgery would yield the same results for me. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror this morning with my shirt off, brushing my teeth rather vigorously, and I noticed that I had some jiggling going on. I've developed man boobs- moobs. How distressing. I guess one nice thing about getting older is that you do develop a bit of a thicker skin. It's what allows men to dress like this chicken. You can hike your swim trunks or trousers clear up to your arm pits and no one is going to take much notice. Just don't be like the fellow I saw down on the beach in Sarasota some years back. He was a white haired, suntanned, trim,older fellow, walking in the sand with a much younger beautiful blond, and both of them were wearing thongs. Folks did notice that. In fact there was a group of young people walking behind them with their phones out taking pictures. Given the choice between dressing like that fellow and dressing like the chicken above, I think I'd opt for the chicken look. You might get laughed at, but you won't get arrested.