Some Thoughts to Live By

  I don't know about you, but frankly, I'm really tired of all the protesting, statue molesting, hate mongering and pundit speaking that's going on right now. I was thinking of writing a post with my own brilliant ideas concerning what's going on in this country right now, and indeed, even around the world, but I'm sure it would be controversial, and I don't know what good it would do. Those that agreed with my train of thought might applaud me, and those that didn't would think I was an ignorant dolt, and I don't really think that anyone's mind would be changed because of anything I said. So... I'm going to just air a few thoughts here that I think would be good to keep in mind while we're in the process of living. Not all of these thoughts are mine, some I've printed out from books that I've read. Most notably books by Robert Fulgham and Anne Lamott. I do have a few original thoughts though, brought about by the school of hard knocks. The first thing I would like to impart if I may- Don't start making a grilled cheese sandwich when you have to pee. I mean, if there's the slightest chance that your bladder might be filling up, go deal with it before you light the stove. I speak from experience. The other day I wanted to have a grilled cheese; not a big deal. I buttered the bread, cut some thin slices of cheddar and got out a skillet. At the time my bladder was sending me mild signals, but nothing too alarming, so I proceeded to light the stove and put the bread in, butter side down, laid in the cheese and covered it with the top piece of bread. In less time than it takes to say Jiminy Cricket, the symptoms went from a mild nagging to a more urgent need. Well, what could I do? The butter was starting to melt and sizzle in the pan. I thought about turning up the heat and rushing the process, but risked burning the bread. I also was doing a quick calculation in my mind of how long it would take to run into the bathroom, relieve myself and get back to my sandwich. There just wasn't enough time. I was starting to panic a little bit and quickly turned over the sandwich in the skillet. In my rush a slice of cheese fell out and landed in the pan. I had to scoop it up real quick before it stuck to the skillet and tossed it on top of the bread. By now I was having visions of Niagra Falls and was having a time trying to stay still. I was weighing the discomfort of a little leakage versus having to start all over again on a new grilled cheese. I was about to abandon all hope when I determined that the sandwich was done and was able to turn off the stove and make a mad dash to the bathroom. Fortunately no one was in my way. Actually, if I didn't mention anything else, this would be a good thing to remember. However, since I've lived for sixty eight years and have learned a few things, I'll also mention another gem.- Always check to make sure there is toilet paper handy before you sit down. Of course if you live in a part of the world that doesn't use toilet paper, this doesn't apply to you.  And now, a rather famous quote from Edmund Burke- "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing." From Robert Fulghum's book - Word's I Wish I Wrote " If you're not engaged  in the sweaty work of the world, you shouldn't be in charge of the deodorant concession." Something our politicians would be wise to remember. Also from Fulghum- "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got." Hmmm... can you imagine that. Last but not least, from Anne Lamott's book- Traveling Mercies- "A woman I know says for her morning prayer-"Whatever" and for her evening prayer, " Oh well"; but has conceded that these prayers are more palatable for people without children. So there you have it. You most likely won't get rich or famous if you follow these simple thoughts, but you might not burn your grilled cheese or wet your pants. Have a good day.