Prime Real Estate

A few weeks ago I helped my friends Mark and Sarah load their treadmill into the back of my truck and deliver it to the dump. Actually I wasn't much help at all- the thing was really heavy and awkward to grasp, so I pretty much let them deal with it. However, I did provide the truck, so I wasn't totally useless. There's a section up at the dump where all the old appliances are discarded, so if you happen to need a refrigerator door, or perhaps a switch for your broken microwave, I guess you could always take your chances with what you could find there. Years ago the dump was more like a department store. You could find a bike without a chain or a jacket without a zipper that otherwise was perfectly good. I imagine there were a number of flashlights that ended up there because the batteries were dead. In the years before computers, if you wanted porn you had to go to some sleazy place and buy it. Since we didn't really have any sleazy places in Hoonah, I guess the next best place was one of the local grocery stores. Anything that  didn't sell they tossed in the dump. It made for some rather entertaining trips to the dump if you happened to run across the outdated material. The dump is a lot more organized now than in the old days. There are sections for tires, wooden trash, paint cans, propane bottles, lawnmowers, every day garbage and of course, the above mentioned appliances. I don't really consider a toilet bowl an appliance, but much like a microwave or a cook stove, it's a necessary part of modern life. I can honestly say that there have been more than a few times that I wish I had one handy in the truck or car on a long trip. Or a short trip for that matter. Many's the time I've had to make a pit stop out the road. When I was traveling down in Wyoming, I stopped at a gas station and bought gas and when I went to use their bathroom, it was out of order. If I'd known that, I'd have gotten gas elsewhere. I'm not sure what the folks who work there do, but that's not my problem. I ended up taking a side road and watered the weeds in the ditch. Its something you can get away with out in the boonies, but not so easy in a city, although it seems like maybe that's not the case anymore. I understand that places like San Francisco and Seattle are letting their downtown areas turn into latrines. I can't really fathom that, but times have changed quite a bit. I recall being on a buying trip for L.Kane Store years ago and waiting for a bus on a sidewalk in front of a store down in Seattle, and some guy in sport coat came out of the store and told me that I couldn't stand in front of the store. I wonder what he'd think now if I just relieved myself out front. Is that progress? Seems like a step back into the dark ages, but what do I know?  A few years ago some tourist had to go and decided that the bushes on the corner of my lot were a good spot to find relief. Actually, I probably wouldn't have said much if I'd seen him, but my neighbor put an end to it. I know the feeling of panic that can come over you when you have to go and there isn't a suitable or acceptable place in sight. At times like that you'd certainly welcome a porcelain toilet to magically appear like a mirage in the desert. Although it probably can't compare to manna from heaven, it would sure be nice to have when the need arose.