Friday, November 2, 2018

The Straight and Narrow Way




 Have you ever watched a little kid when they first get the training wheels taken off their bikes? They keep looking behind to make sure that the parent is still hanging on to the bike; they don't want to fall. When they're finally on their own, there is usually a bit of time where the front wheels wobble as they try to maintain control. I'm not sure what happened  here in these pictures. I can't imagine anything like this happening in Juneau or Anchorage, but I can understand it happening in Hoonah. I mean, after all, that's where I live, and a good bit of my life is made up of the never before seen or experienced. Far be it from me to criticize the operator of the line painting machine. Lord knows that I could never paint a straight line, even if I had a thousand yard straight edge, somehow I'd manage to veer off the mark and end up with something that looks like this. Really though, what are the odds that the state of Alaska would hire someone like me to paint the lines on a state highway? I wish I could ask the guy (or gal)- what happened? Were you looking at your phone when you should have been looking at the road? Did a really attractive person of the opposite sex distract you- all up and down the road? Did a dog charge at you repeatedly and you were trying to keep from painting them into the pavement? What? What was it? Were your glasses foggy, did you forget to take your meds that morning, were there problems at home that kept you from keeping your mind on your job? Did you suffer from a bout of uncontrollable sneezing? When I look at this, I'm reminded of a story that my friend Bud Burnett told me years ago. He was living on one of the communal farms that were scattered around in Alaska and Canada. I believe they were going up north to pick up some horses or some such thing. There were two cars hauling horse trailers in the little caravan. Bud was in the front vehicle and a group of young men was in the back one. Periodically Bud would look in the rear view mirror to check on the boys and make sure there weren't any problems. While he was checking the progress, he noticed a car pull up beside the car the boys were in, and then all of a sudden the boys car started to swerve violently, almost running off the road. They got control and Bud watched as the same car came charging up behind him and pulled along side as if to pass. It was a car full of young ladies, and when they honked, Bud looked over and they raised their tops and flashed him. Of course it's hard to look at the scenery and still keep your eyes on the road, so he was all over the place. The girls laughed, honked again and took off down the road. Needless to say, such pleasant distractions , while memorable, could have turned out poorly.  Now I'm not suggesting that anything of the kind happened to paint guy. I guess we'll never really know what happened, but I would have thought that maybe the state would send him back with a can of black paint to correct the mistake. So far it hasn't happened. Maybe they assume that after the winter is over, it won't be so noticeable, but frankly, it's always been my experience that some things you just can't wish away.

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