I've Got the Maytag Blues

 To tell you the honest truth, sometimes I feel like my life is like an episode of Seinfeld, and I'm one of the characters- probably George Castanza. Even I can't believe some of the stuff that happens, and it's been going on for sixty six years!  Some time back, Jan and I decided we wanted to go down and look around in Idaho, so we elected to go in March, before the weather got good enough to work on the boat and before fishing started. We got our tickets to go to Juneau a month in advance because we wanted to take the truck over and do some shopping. In the interim, our washing machine that we had owned for over ten years decided to give up the ghost. We got a lot of good use out of it and I had no problem picking one up in Juneau while we were there, that way we'd save the freight of sending it over to Hoonah. For a few weeks we did laundry at my daughter, Jen's house. It was inconvenient, but it worked. Well, the day before we were to take the ferry over to Juneau, one of the local marine highway gals called to let me know that the ferry was broke down, and they didn't know when it would run again. Go figure. So I had to make a mad dash to the airport and hope that there was still seats available to get to Juneau. Fortunately there was- only $170.00 one way for the two of us. Lovely. So, we flew down south, forgot our troubles for a short while, and came back. We picked up a Maytag washer at Sears and made it back home. I'm not overly fond of the washing machine. It's computerized apparently, and is energy efficient, but it's kind of loud and takes a while to do the load. That is, when it worked. At the end of May, the power plant did some tests to see about some additives to make the fuel burn more efficiently. Well, something happened, and the power went off four times in one day. It just so happened that I had thrown in some laundry prior to the power going off. When it came back on, my washing machine was fried. How awesome is that? Well I found out that I have to pay up front for a new washing machine, and the insurance company for the plant will reimburse me. Hmmmmm.... So, as it happened, Sears had gone out of business in Juneau , so I had to get one from a hardware store over there. I was assured that they had the same exact  model and would send it over to me on AML, the local transport company. Only $699.00 for the washer, and another $105.00 minimum charge for freight. What choice did I have? When I went down to the ware house to pick up my washer, I discovered that they had sent the wrong one. It's not even the same brand. So, as of this moment, I'm waiting for that issue to be resolved. Meanwhile, I had to pack three baskets of laundry up the stairs to Jen's house today. Oh the joy! I decided to compose a little song about my washing machine. I don't know how to compose songs, but if ever a situation required a blues song, this is it. Imagine that someone like legendary blues singer Muddy Waters is performing it.

I had a new washer  (da dum da dum da)
But it went on the fritz (da dum da dum da)
The power plant fried it (da dum da dum da)
You know that's the S@#%S (da dum da dum da)

I got the Maytag, the Maytag washing machine blues
Yeah baby I do

I load up the laundry (da dum da dum da)
Into the truck (da dum da dum da)
This ain't no fun baby (da dum da dum da)
It's starting to suck (da dum da dum da)

I got the Maytag, the Maytag washing machine blues
You know Momma I do

I pack all that laundry (da dum da dum da)
Up Jennifer's stairs (da dum da dum da)
There's undies and shirts (da dum da dum da)
And the socks are in pairs (da dum da dum da)

I got the Maytag, the Maytag washing machine blues
Oh yes brother I do

That laundry is heavy (da dum da dum da)
Especially when wet (da dum da dum da)
But when your washer is broken da dum da dum da)
That's what you get (da dum da dum da)

I got the Maytag, the Maytag washing machine blues
Yeah Momma it's true - Oh yeah!!!!!

 So there you go. I rather doubt that it will ever make it to the top of the record charts, but the next time life turns south for you, just sing this little song and know that I fully understand what you're going through. Have a good day.