The Grill

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doing a blog post should be a fairly simple thing, and no doubt for most people it is, but keep in mind that it's me we're talking about here, so nothing comes easy. I've tried unsuccessfully for the past hour to get these pictures to download in the proper order. As you can see, they aren't arranged in a way that would make sense. I wanted the last picture to line up at about the same spacing as the previous two, but noooooo... that's not about to happen. Then when I tried to type the text, it automatically started to underline everything and all the words were in blue. I have no idea why. It's become the normal now. I don't know why it does it and I don't know what I do to make it stop, but somehow it magically does. I wish I knew what I did to make it stop so that I could do it next time, but I'm an old guy and things concerning computers don't come easily to me. Oh well. C'est la vie. I think that's French for that's life. Maybe it really means you're a bonehead and whenever someone who doesn't speak French says it, all the folks who do speak it secretly laugh.  As you can see by the pictures above that what we have here is a barbeque grill. The one that I bought umpteen years ago has pretty much worn out. It was a two burner model and actually served me quite well until recently. The one pictured has four burners, which probably means that it will go through the propane twice as fast. Perhaps the makers of the grill have stock in the propane company. That would make sense- a little double dipping so to speak. I'll tell you frankly, I'm not a very handy guy. Even in grade school when the teacher would give us a project that was supposed to be fun or neat, I always managed to flub it up. If glue, scissors, pencils and papers were involved, I would somehow manage to cut the paper in the wrong place, jam the pencil through the handle in the scissors and glue the whole mess to the desk. I've never been good at following directions. It was no different trying to put together this grill. Most of the time the manufacturer of a product wants the customer to succeed in their efforts to put the product together. No one ever says, " hey, I've got an idea. Let's try the Botts method, that way never works!" I kind of knew that there was going to be trouble right from the start. I purchased the grill in Juneau and had to have some help loading it on the back of the truck. When I got home, it was snowing  a blizzard and I had to get the grill off the truck so the groceries I bought wouldn't get ruined. Of course there was no one in sight to help me, so I had to unload it myself. Let me tell you, that puppy was heavy! It was so blasted big that I couldn't see where I was going with it, so I stumbled in the direction of the front porch and set it down there, knocking off a potted plant in the process. I managed to wrench my back and spent the next day hobbling around like an invalid. Sunday I spent the whole day in my easy chair with a massager that has what feels like large iron balls rotating inside. It's supposed to help, but I think I may have ended up with bruises instead. After I recovered sufficiently a few days later I tackled the grill project. The box just barely fit through the door. Then I had to unload enough parts to assemble a fifty- seven Chevy. I followed the directions as closely as I could and I still had problems. I put together and took apart one piece four times. By the time I assembled it for the last time all the screw heads were pretty well stripped and the paint that is meant to protect them was gone. Now when I set the contraption outside it will thoroughly rust and look like crap in a matter of days. Go figure. As I started to take parts out of the box, which incidentally was the size of a small garage, it quickly became apparent that I would have to separate them so I could find what I needed at the proper juncture. I ended up with parts in three different rooms. I walked over a quarter of a mile, back and forth just assembling that grill.  I finally got it all put together, and I think it's done right, but I don't know yet; it's still in the living room. I suppose I should invite the Hoonah volunteer fire department over for a cook out the first time I go to light it off, just in case. I'll suggest they bring the fire trucks and come dressed ready for action. If it really works after I hook up the propane, I may send off for a life sized replica of the space shuttle, ready to assemble. After all, how much harder can it be?