Friday, August 5, 2011
Corn Flakes VS Clown Flakes
As you can see very clearly, I have a picture of a box of Kelloggs Corn Flakes here. For those readers who are too young to remember the days before cereal had names like Sugar Frosted Marshmellow Yum Yums with a hint of REAL WHOLE GRAINS, there was cereal that was rather plain. Things like Cheerios, and Shredded Wheat, Kelloggs Corn Flakes and Wheaties (breakfast of champions). You used to have to add your own sugar- how odd. I don't know what people did in the day before cereal became popular, probably had to suffer through bacon and eggs or sausage, maybe some hash browns and toast with homemade jam, possibly a stack of pancakes or waffles with real maple syrup. Fortunately people like Kellogg and Post came along and fixed it so that you could rush out the door to whatever the day had in store for you without having to wait for the sausage and eggs to cook. Yes sir, those were the days. Anyway, I'm only mentioning breakfast cereal because of what happened to me out trolling yesterday. I had started early and by mid afternoon, I was feeling a little tired, but nothing out of the ordinary. I spotted a sport boat anchored along the drag and made mention to myself of the clown who would anchor there, right in the middle of where people were dragging gear. Then I saw a number of other trollers in the area that until recently I had enjoyed by myself and I relegated them all to the status of clowns. Then, twice, I found myself dragging sixteen and a half fathoms of gear across fourteen fathoms of water, even though the GPS clearly showed me where I was and I should have known better, so I thought-" What kind of clown does this?" It was then it hit me. I went down below and looked in the cupboard where I store my food. There in the dim light I made out the label- instead of the Kelloggs Corn Flakes that I thought I'd eaten that morning, I had mistakenly picked up a box of Kelly's Clown Flakes. No wonder! I checked the ingredients. Instead of corn, sugar, salt, malt, ascorbic acid and assorted vitamins and minerals, the Clown Flakes label boasted cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cakes, peanuts and snow cones. Circus food! Well, at least it didn't have assorted clown parts. None-the-less as the day wore on I had an overwhelming desire to apply some grease paint to my face and don a pair of giant shoes. Let this be a lesson to the readers; be aware of what you're eating. Just because something looks like the real deal doesn't mean that it is. Examine the label closely, and for crying out loud, if you find yourself feeling like you're surrounded by imbeciles, dolts, idiots, buffoons and incompetent clowns, by all means go check the label on your breakfast cereal, and if need be stand out in front of a Mac Donalds and give the kids a treat.