Wednesday, March 3, 2010

There's a Pessimist in the Kitchen!

As you can see, I have a bowl of macaroni salad on the counter. It may not look like macaroni salad, but it is. It actually looks better in real life- the picture isn't doing it justice. Every now and then I make a bowl of it to go along with the rest of some meal or another. Tonight we're going up to the church for a pot luck, so that's what I'm bringing. A few weeks ago, I was in Hoonah Trading when one of the single fellows who works at the forest service came in and was lamenting the fact that the store didn't carry any cold salads any more, like macaroni or potato salad. I said, "just make your own." Well, apparently he doesn't know how, so I said, "next time I make it,I'll bring you some." So that's what I did. He was all excited and thanked me and even gave me a "God bless you", so I left his office feeling all good about myself. As I was walking home the thought occured to me- what if for some reason he ate it and got sick? There goes my blessing. What if for some unknown reason he didn't realize that I put Best Foods mayo in it and he's allergic to every kind but Kraft, or what if he had a reaction to the eggs or the green pepper? What if the worse case scenario happened and he got food poisoning some how and died? When the coroner opened him and started examining the stomache contents, he would know right away. On the death certificate it would read- Cause of death- Tom Botts. Would I be considered innocent in a court of law or would I be sentenced to life in prison for an innocent mistake? It might even make the national headlines. It might be the lead story on ABC World News Tonight. Diane Sawyer would be looking into the camera all grave and somber and announce, "In the tiny fishing village of Hoonah Alaska, a forest service employee was poisoned by a man pretending to be his friend who offered him some toxic macaroni salad." It might become an issue that the president and congress would like to take up- part of the health care debacle. It would set off a whole new round of regulations from the food and drug administration. All this because I wanted to make a little macaroni salad. What is the world coming to?

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