Thursday, March 18, 2010

Cheese and Crackers

Well, it's happened again. My daughter Camille called and let me know that she wasn't happy with my last blog entry. Apparently it wasn't entertaining enough for her. So now, I have to provide entertaining blogs on a frequent enough basis to satisfy her or I will be getting an unfavorable review. Oh, the pressure. I explained that there are only so many things to write about and she suggested I do a blog on cheese and crackers, one of my favorite snacks. Of course throwing a little Pace Picante Sauce into the mix livens it up considerably. As you can see, I have the large economy size. Several years ago I asked an artist friend of mine to paint a picture of me in my rainpants holding a king salmon in one hand and a bottle of Pace in the other. I love this stuff. I wanted it painted on the top house of the boat. Unfortunately, she left before she could get around to it. Bummer. Jan keeps telling me all the cheese I eat will clog my arteries. She's probably right. I'll probably go to the doctor one day and find out that I have Cheddar Veins or Cracker Dough Stomach. The worst by far would be Salsa Flameout or Paceroids- I won't elaborate on that. In any event I'm sure that my diet could use a little revamping. No doubt I should be eating more fruits and vegetables to keep the works from getting all gummed up. I knew a gal out at the farm who had digestive problems; more specifically, she couldn't go to the bathroom without some kind of laxative. Fortunately I've never had that problem. In any event she used to mix up some kind of stuff that had volcanic ash in it to drink. I can imagine it would really scour out the system. That would be the time to go in for a colonoscopy- your innards would be squeeky clean. That seemed kind of extreme to me, but then her and a few others went through a trend where they did coffee enemas too. What a waste. I assume they didn't brew it first, or at least let it cool down. I'll take my coffee the normal way and I doubt that I'll ever be desparate enough to chug a little Mount St. Helens. You never know though, if I keep eating cheese and crackers...


  1. Thanks dad. It was a good one :)

  2. Sam wants me to find Pace in as big a jar as you took a pic of - LOL! I told him you probably get it at Costco. Besides, I think it would take us a year to get through a jar that big!