Wednesday, November 27, 2013

MR.Brows



 I went into the bathroom today to do something, probably the usual things that you would do in the bathroom, and as I was looking in the mirror I became aware of my eyebrows. If I could have gotten a closeup picture of just my eyebrows I would have. They're so big that I had to grow a mustache just to distract people. I notice that I seem to squint a lot, like I'm looking into the sun. Of course there isn't much sun here normally to look at, so obviously that's not the problem. The reason I seem to squint is that my eyebrows have a tendency to poke me in the eyes- the very thing they're supposed to be protecting! What gives? Periodically I trim them, but it doesn't really seem to help, I think it just causes them to grow at odd angles, mainly all in a downward direction towards my eyeballs. My dad had bushy eyebrows. They were pretty intimidating. It's probably a good thing that men have pretty bushy ones. It would be hard to be a person in authority if you had to paint your eyebrows on as is the case with some ladies I know. Who would take a judge seriously if he was sitting on the bench in a gown and eyebrows that were the result of Maybellene? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of female judges that can be pretty intimidating. Lord knows I've met some gals who I wouldn't want to cross, and they don't sit on the bench. Anyway, as I was saying, my dad's were pretty bushy. He was a contractor and used to come home after a day at work, running the saw or planer or some other wood working tool and I'm fairly sure each eyebrow probably held a good half pound of sawdust. I should dip mine in some sawdust so that it looks like I've been working hard. It would be my luck that someone would see that and want me to build them a set of cabinets or some such thing, then what would I do? The jig would be up and I'd half to admit that I came by my rugged appearance falsely. Some years ago, when I worked at the school, there was a young lady who seemed to be in constant need of attention. You never knew what she would do next so we were always on guard around her. One day she came waltzing down the hallway and I noticed something didn't look right, but what was it? I was staring at her face when one of the more observant students yelled, " Amanda shaved her eyebrows!"  That's what it was! Holy smokes! I don't recommend doing that, no matter how starved for attention you are. It looks a little odd to put it mildly. I don't know if they itch when they grow back in or not. Fortunately it's not a fad that ever caught on that I know of. Obviously shaving my brows isn't an option; however, perhaps I could create some special barrettes just to hold them back. I could be stylish and still keep those pesky hairs from poking me. Maybe I could design special ones that look like sawdust so that you wouldn't really have to dip your face in the dust pile, you just clip on a pair. Guess I better get to work. They probably won't be ready in time for Christmas this year, but keep your eyes pealed next year. No doubt they'll be in all the high end catalogues.

8 comments:

  1. AHAHA...you did a selfie! And I remember when she shaved them, for the life of me I couldn't figure out why she looked like a freakin alien! Her eyes were gigantic, and then that forehead that looked huge without the brows! She was interesting!

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  2. Hi Autumn- well, lets hope that's the only selfie I'll ever do. Yes she was different. It looked almost scary on her and given her unpredictable personality, you were never sure what would happen next. If she wanted attention, she surely got it.

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  3. Funny all the way. Please tell me you didn't write this sitting down...in the bathroom.

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  4. Nice tache, Tom. Ok, now the next post has to be about ears and noses. Remember sitting on Grandpa's lap and looking up into that forest. Couldn't see any trees, for the forest. Very scary as a child. LOL
    Great post, hope all is well in AK. Hunker down. The cold winds are coming.
    TDH

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  5. Hi Rene-
    Nope, I don't do this blog on the laptop. That's strictly for the boat. The computer I use is in the office, which by the way is incredibly cold right now.

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  6. Hi Terry-
    I can't remember too much about my grandpa. He and grandma lived over a hundred miles away so it was a major excursion to go for a visit. I do remember getting a haircut in Juneau and one of the other patrons mentioning that the only way his grandaughter recognized him was by his nose hairs. I just recently trimmed the hair out of my ears and my hearing improved about twenty percent. Why don't women have this problem?

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  7. Funny Rene- or is that a Canadian comment?

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