Lawn Turds

 

    

  A couple of days ago, I went to the Jewel Rental Company and rented a lawn aerator, something I'd heard of a few years ago. Not being in the possession of either a pickup truck nor a flatbed trailer, I was able to get my neighbor to use his equipment to help me in retrieving the tool.

I'd never used an aerator before, and had no idea how it really worked, nor the amount of difficulty it would be using one. I watched a few videos on Utube, and the people I saw using an aerator made it seem like a breeze. Of course they aren't me, and if I'm not mistaken, the brand of tool they were using was different than the one I rented. Jewell tool rental carried a Huskvarna  brand aerator. Huskvarna is a really reputable brand. The only time I really came into contact with anything they made was back on my years on the farm. There were a few folks who owned their chain saws and really liked them. Let me say upfront, there is a world of difference in a chain saw and a lawn aerator.

For one thing, a chainsaw is made to pick up in your hands and work. The aerator has a weight of roughly three hundred pounds, which in order for it to do it's job is actually a good thing. It comes with two thirty pound weights, one on either side which can be removed in order to transport it. To say the least its ungainly and difficult to handle. It's multiple hollow tubes are chain driven and as it goes forward, it digs into the ground and pulls 1/2 inch  plugs of lawn and earth out, spitting them behind it. The idea behind it is that when the ground gets compacted, like after a lot of snow or walking around on it, the holes it leaves behind will allow fertilizer and water to penetrate easier. I hope that's the case.

After we unloaded the heavy monster, and got it started, I engaged the gear and it took off like a scalded monkey, digging divets and dragging me along behind it trying to control the throttle. Frankly, I was having a difficult time dealing with the blasted thing and though I'd only covered one or two short passes of the front lawn, I could see no good thing coming from it. Fortunately, my neighbor, J R, stuck around to see how it worked and offered to help. Being of an age where pride has long since departed, I took him up on his offer. He's ten years younger than me, and seemed to be considerably more competent at running it.

He not only did the vast majority of the front lawn, after a short break so he could check on his cats, he came back and did the entire back lawn. When I surveyed his handiwork, it appeared as if an entire flock of Canadian Honkers had landed in my yard and discharged a week's worth of the contents of their bowels on my lawn. It actually looked pretty gross.

So now I had holes, and a bunch of lawn turds scattered across my front and back yards. According to the various videos I'd watched, I could either let them break down naturally, mow over them so they broke down quicker, or rake them up. As the fellow with the advice to rake mentioned, why would you want to fill the holes in with the same stuff you just pulled out of the ground? It was a valid point.

I thought of maybe inviting a bunch of kids from the neighborhood over for an Easter egg type hunt, only of course there were no eggs or candy, and I doubt they would be overly enthusiastic about picking up lawn turds to put in their baskets. I opted to go ahead and rake them up, but that project is a bit brutal too. So far I've got about three quarter's of both the front and back lawns raked up. I was going to do the remainder today, but I got busy with less strenuous projects, so I guess I'll get around to it tomorrow. What fun.