Friday, November 5, 2010

Pumpkin Boy

Well, Halloween has come and gone. I'm kind of glad. I'm sure the dog is. He had to suffer through the embarrassment of wearing this ridiculous pumpkin costume for a while on Halloween night. When he saw it he ran under the table and had to be enticed with food to put it on. Unfortunately the Jack O' Lantern is just the beginning of sorrows. I think there is a Santa costume and something that looks like a clown one hanging in a closet upstairs. How humiliating. Dogs have feelings you know; although a piece of cheese can go a long way in helping to offset any loss of dignity. I don't know how anyone else fared, but here in Hoonah we had such a dreadful wet, cold, blowy evening that we hardly had any kids come by. Wouldn't you know it? I had gone to Walmart several weeks ago so I was all stocked up with stuff and ready for the big onlslaught. Of course it didn't happen. If I had forgotten to get anything for Halloween, there probably would have been a warm front pass through and a bright harvest moon with hundreds of kids swarming the house begging for treats. I just can't win. To make matters worse we have this big bowl of candy sitting on the TV stand just waiting for me to saunter past. It's almost sinister. I never used to like Skittles, but since we have a large number of packs of them, I thought I'd give them a try. Either they've changed the formula for making them or my tastes have changed. Now I can't leave them alone. The receptionist at the forest service where I clean apparently didn't have too many trick-or-treaters come to her house either, so she brought all her left over candy and left it on the counter where I have to pass by six or eight times a night. To my delight/dismay, lounging in the bowl in their bright silver wrappings are multitudes of miniture Three Musketeers bars, or as E P Mac Affee used to call them, Three Musty Steers. He was the fellow that owned Mac's Trading Post and called us fellows, girls when we came in. I didn't have any idea what a musty steer was, but as long as it only cost a nickel and tasted like chocolate, it was fine with me.
In any event, the holiday season is officially upon us I guess. For the next couple of months we'll be inundated with all manner of tasty delights,none of which will be healthy. My already rotund body will expand even further, creating all manner of guilt and frustration and stretching the skin over my gut like a basket ball that's been overfilled. I'll hate the way I look and feel, dragging around these extra pounds like a ball and chain and wish that I'd been blessed with a little more self- discipline. Perhaps if I had to wear a pumpkin outfit after I gained so many pounds I would be less inclined to overindulge. At the very least I would have Rigby to keep me company.


  1. Poor poor Rigby :) sure looks cute in his costume though. We have the same candy problem at our work with everyone bringing it in and I to have to pass by the dreadful candy bowl many times a day. However I learned that each little piece of the candy is 80 CALORIES. Keep that in mind next time you pass the candy bowl :). Love you dad.

  2. Oh shoot! I'll make sure I bring some reindeer antlers down for you to wear! That's hilarious! Our dogs hate the costumes too. And, just a suggestion, I was giving our candy out in rid of it!

    Love you!