Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Christmas Splendor


Well, the gloating that I did the other day about not having a white Christmas was short lived. These shots are of Christmas day. My daughter Jen and I went out for a walk because it was too nice to stay inside. Actually, it was cold that day and windy, but the rain  had stopped and it was so nice to see the sunshine,so  we decided to get outside for a bit. When I woke up on the 26th, there was about four inches of snow on the ground and more coming down every second. Let that be a lesson to you folks- it doesn't pay to gloat over your good fortune, at least not if you're me. It always comes back to bite you in the backside. I hope the kids that got bikes for Christmas got out and rode them while they had the chance. The sledders are the happy campers now.  
I hope everyone had a delightful Christmas. When you get to my age there isn't a whole lot that you need as far as gifts go. It would be great if you could ask Santa for a years worth of good health, two months of sleeping all night without having to get up and pee, a pharmaceutical bill that doesn't resemble the national debt, eyebrows that don't need barrettes to keep them out of your eyes, and the strength that you had ten years ago. Maybe he could throw a couple young ladies in my stocking who think I'm cute just to keep my ego going. Ah well, don't think any of that is going to happen, so I better hope I can grow old gracefully. No one wants to hear that your arthritis is kicking in or that your back hurts or that you didn't sleep very well last night; and they especially don't want to hear that you have gas, although it's probably better to give a warning than having them find out on their own. It's kind of funny to watch the progression of a man's life from youth to old age.Most young fellows are obsessed with  sex and how to expand their horizons in that department. In your twenties you feel invincible, you're strong, healthy, ready to conquer the world.  As you get older, jobs, making money and family are priorities. By middle age you're not moving so fast, things are starting to hurt or just not work as good as they used to, and for many guys their family is grown up. At my age grand kids are in the picture, nothing seems to work right in my body, everything hurts, my conversations revolve around what new ailment popped up overnight and I spend half my day looking for my glasses and the other half in the bathroom. I know what is on the horizon for me, if I live that long.The hair in my ears will grow out and bond with my eyebrows so that every time I raise a brow my ears will wiggle.  I'll be sitting in my truck with the window rolled down and the heat on high talking to one of my cronies who is doing the same thing. We'll be discussing something that neither one of us is sure of because we can't hear the other guy above the noise of the engine and the heater fan. The conversation will be something like..."Well I remember one time that I uh, I... oh hell... what was I saying?"  As I age, I've gained a little knowledge and I've picked up a little advice from those who have passed through life before me and I would now like to pass on this bit of wisdom. I can't recall where I heard it, but it would be worth remembering- Never trust a fart if you're over fifty. And there you have it.
 On a personal note... Doug, I hope you keep this bit of wisdom in mind.

5 comments:

  1. Great visual on the two old men chatting it up in their pickups. Does that count in Erling Skaflestad? He's driving around Hoonah all day.

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  2. Hi Erika- yes, I think Erling would qualify. No doubt Kenny Schoonover and a few of the other fishermen I know would too. It's not uncommon to see that sight down at the harbor. No one wants to get out of their truck, althought they are happy to talk to you if you don't mind standing outside their window.

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  3. Good column, Tom! You had me chuckling ruefully as I can commiserate with the signs of aging. Here's to a blessed 2012! Love you guys!!

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  4. Hi Jill- I'm glad you liked it. It's amazing how we change. I still remember taking the boys out hunting ten or so years ago and they couldn't understand why the old man couldn't keep up with them. I think Jen still has a hard time understanding that we don't have the stamina we had when we were thirty. Fortunately I don't have the temper that I had my thirties or the lack of patience either.

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  5. Quite amusing...I'm sure when I'm older I'll be sittin at the table talkin to my spouse.."What day is it? Thursday....no...I'm not thirsty, I have a drink right here." Yeah...that and the weekly trips to the store for Depends, Ben Gay, and corn removers....I can hardly wait;-) Love you..AJ

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