A Last Minute Gift

 

  I don't doubt that there are a few people out there who might be panicking because there is only four more shopping days until Christmas, and they still haven't gotten a gift for their one and only. I'd be willing to bet that this isn't the first Christmas that you've been caught off guard. Time flies when you're having fun, and especially if you're down at Kelly's Bar and Grill forgetting all about your obligations back home. I'm primarily addressing this to the male population, as I suspect that your wife or girlfriend has had your gift bought, wrapped and hiding under the bed where it's been for the past month or more.

 I know that everyone has a different financial situation to deal with, and unlike the commercials for Lexus or Kay's Jewelers, we can't all fork up tens of thousands of dollars to give our better half a luxury car or diamond bracelet. Not to worry guys, I've come up with the perfect gift; a fire extinguisher. Don't laugh it off. Listen to the reasons why this could be the most treasured gift under the tree this year.

For one thing, you can probably get one for $30.00 or less. It might be worth the while to get a bigger one though, depending on how accident prone the residents are.

I know the argument might be made that it's not sexy. Well, if you wanted sexy, you should have gone to the Victoria's Secret counter by now. As it is, if you were to put a garter on the tank, depending on your imagination, it could be pretty enticing. It is brilliant red, and with a little lace, it might pass as a sensual accessory. 

Of course you might  make the suggestion that you are being ever so practical. Think about it. Christmas is the time of year when people often light candles in their homes. An open flame in the house is a fire hazard right? Lots of people cook turkeys in pots full of oil outside. Often when the turkey is placed in the boiling oil, it spills over the side and creates a huge fire that can spread to the porch or out buildings. Try putting out a fire with a pair of panties. Those suckers wouldn't last a second.

 Also, keep in mind that lots of folks serve a Holiday dinner, which involves a lot of cooking. Periodically something catches fire on the stove. Of course you might be able to put it out with a healthy dose of baking soda, if you can even find it in the drawer where it was supposed to be. Chances are, if you did find it, there wouldn't be enough left in the box to do any good, since cookies are a staple of the Christmas season and it was all used up. However, if you had a fire extinguisher right handy in the kitchen, a very thoughtful and practical gift, you just grab that thing, pull the pin, aim at the base and pull the handle. The fire's out in no time and the gift that your loved one was so disappointed in is suddenly the very one she couldn't live without. You become the hero, and who knows, maybe she'll have a little something special for you tonight. Don't count on the panties though, they got burned up in the turkey fire. However, Valentines Day isn't so far off. If you're looking for suggestions, give me a shout.