Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Wiener Dog

















     When it comes to the life of Riley in the animal kingdom, few pets can rival our dachshund, Rigby. Dachshund, in German literally means badger dog. They were bred to go into holes after badgers and other burrowing animals. I believe that badgers can be ferocious, but these dogs were up to the task. They're ears are purposely long to keep out the dirt, leaves and grass that would enter otherwise and they have large paws for digging. The long snout helps to sniff out prey and they're large chest gives them a capacity to keep at the task at hand without getting winded.I read that the tail was bred to be curved so that they could be pulled out by it in case they got stuck in a hole. Apparently they're known for being stubborn, a fact that I can attest to.  Author E.B. White who owned a dachshund wrote, " whenever I address Fred I never have to raise my voice or my hopes. He even disobeys me when I instruct him in something he wants to do." He sure hit the nail on the head there. About the only way I can get Rigby to do what I want him to, when he is engaged in doing what he wants, is to entice him with the promise of food, and even then he takes his time, making sure that I know that he's only obeying because there is something in it for him. I guess I could just pick him up and force him into obedience. I am, after all, much bigger, but hope springs eternal, and I keep thinking that some day he will willingly comply with my commands. Actually, I think that the tables are turned. I usually comply with his wishes. With a little whining or crying he can make me take  him outside where he will strain against his leash until I follow him to wherever he wants to go.While he never voices an opinion one way or another, I guess he just assumes we'll grab a bag and clean up after him. It's kind of like having a servant follow you around to flush the toilet when you're finished.With a few loud barks he will let me know that he wants some of the salad I'm making or a few pieces of the banana that I'm having for breakfast. When we purchased the new couch, Jan and I agreed that the dog, or perhaps I should say the king, wouldn't be allowed on it. That lasted for about fifteen minutes. That's how long it took for him to sniff it and decide it would be a satisfactory place in which to look out at his kingdom and let passers by know that he didn't appreciate the interruption of having them walking by on the street. As you can see, he's become quite enamored with the couch and matching pillows. It's a resting spot fit for a king. I see the king has left his throne and is presently in bothering me with an annoying sound, much like a cross between a groan and a whine. It's not time for his noon snack, and he's already had his cereal and milk- Multi-grain Cheerios with 2% milk, so he must want to go out. Guess I better stop what I'm doing and obey the master or there will be no rest for me.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Spam



      It used to be when someone mentioned Spam, they were talking about the meat in the blue and yellow can put out by the Hormel Corporation. Back in the 1930's the good folks at Hormel were left with a dilemma- what to do with all the pork shoulders? I don't know all the particulars, I'm not a butcher nor do I understand the in's and outs of commercial meat processing. When I'm fortunate enough to bag a deer out hunting I cut it up myself, and we don't let the shoulder go to waste. If nothing else it goes into ground meat for hamburgers. On pigs though, I don't know why the shoulders wouldn't have a market, but apparently they didn't, so someone came up with the idea of grinding them up, adding salt, water, and whatever else they put in there-I'm not sure I want to know, and sticking it in a can. Down through the years Spam has been an affordable meal in many a home. I never ate it growing up, but when I bought the Bonnie J and experienced the need to come up with a fast, tasty meal with a minimum of effort, I imbibed. I really like salty things- green olives, saltine crackers, bacon... but Spam kind of goes over the edge in the sodium realm.  I can almost feel my blood pressure spiking after a few bites. However, the spam I have pictured here is what we all receive in our emails every day.  I wish I could can it and sell it to the Chinese or Iranians or Russians or some such group, but they are, no doubt, the purveyors of at least some of it and I'm quite certain they don't want it back. I made a copy of one page of what I got the other day. I hadn't checked my emails for a few days and had in excess of 100 spam messages, which was actually about a tenth of what I've been receiving lately on this blog. I don't understand the reason for all this unwanted correspondence, perhaps they're confusing me with someone who has money and they hope that I'll buy something. Let's see what I've got here.... something from Facebook Su something or other. Fortunately the printer doesn't print out the whole address or I'd go through a whole ink cartridge. Anyway, they're congratulating me for receiving a $100.00 visa gift card if I do something or other. I see my credit is pre-approved  for up to $6874.01. Hmmm... I could really use the money too. Maybe I could buy a spam filter that won't even let it show up on my computer, just dumps it in the trash automatically. Maybe I could call it the toilet and every time a new piece of spam was discarded the sound of a toilet flushing would sound. I got an email from a place called Date Lonely. It says, Contact Easy women for discreet dates. Yeah, ok. I think those are called prostitutes if I'm not mistaken. I got something from Fidelity Life . I can get up to $499,000.00 insurance with no physical exam required. Sounds great. Not sure I could afford the monthly premiums though. I see I can get LASIK Vision on sale for only $299.00 per eye. If they could provide me with a pair of X-ray specs that really worked instead, I might be interested. I've received all kinds of ads promising to make me longer,stronger so on and so forth. I guess I really need to close the curtains when I get dressed. I didn't know anyone was watching. I see that I can Solar Power my home at no cost! Wow, just what I need here in the rain forest. I've got something from John D saying that I've been accepted by Global Who's Who. I should probably take John up on that just to find out who I am. I've heard from a place called Mesh Consultants letting me know that serious complications arise from surgical mesh implants. I'll keep that in mind and remind the doctors if they ever decide to sew me up with chicken wire. Anyway, that's a small taste of the spam that I've received. I'm sure it's not all that interesting since you have your own spam to deal with. In any event, if I'm ever in need of a $30,000 car loan fast, free oil change coupons or male enhancement products, I'll know where to go.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Seasonal Frenzy

















   From time to time I get a little bit of guff, usually from family members, who feel like I don't post here often enough. The fact that I actually have to do something that will bring in a little moola doesn't seem to appease them any; apparently they feel like my primary job is to entertain them. Now, in all fairness, I have to admit, I didn't receive an e-mail or phone call reprimanding me, but had I gone another day or so without posting, I no doubt would have gotten some form of complaint, so, being the saint that I am, I'm going to sacrifice some of MY time to put out this post. Hopefully they'll feel entertained.
   As you can plainly see, I've posted  a couple of pictures of this year's garden. I would dearly love to take full credit for it's beauty, but I have to admit, outside of pulling a few dandelions and picking up some rocks which were tossed, willy nilly into the yard, I haven't done too much gardening. Largely because I've been exceptionally busy with the boat. What you see on the steps is the last remnants of that work. Well, not the Miracle Grow and bucket- that's Jan's work. I'm speaking of the Shop Vac and sander that is hiding behind it. Well, you might say, that doesn't look too impressive. Well, had I known that I was going to do a blog post on this, I would have gotten a shot of the back of the pickup yesterday, or the boat with tarps laying everywhere and empty coffee and cottage cheese containers with the remains of cement for the underwater seams or bondo for the all too many soft spots up on the hull. There were paint cans and multiple brushes, acetone and fiberglass and used sanding pads, environmentally friendly paint thinner and a respirator and golden goggles to keep the dust from my eyes and lungs, caulking tubes and new and old zincs, a drill and hammer and irons for setting the seams, cotton and oakum and Sikaflex. It was a blasted mess! Once the boat was launched, I had to take all of the tools of the trade inside. That took five or six trips. Of course everything had to be put somewhere, which was another chore all in itself. I had so much stuff that I couldn't just dump it in a pile and hope for the best, although I kind of wanted to. Thunderation! Owning a boat, especially an old wooden boat, is a lot of work, but that's just the beginning of sorrows. This summer the house needs painted, the porches need a coat of Thompson's Water Seal, the lawns, ours and the one next door, will need mowed multiple times, and no doubt there will be untold other projects that my brain refuses to bring to light right now for fear that I'll go into severe anxiety related depression and all the work that I did on the boat will be for naught. Somehow, these things will need done, while at the same time I need to make money fishing, which is always a struggle. The pressure is mounting, but I'm actually ahead of most other years. I've gotten my dog salmon hoochies tied up, the boat is painted and patched with new zincs, there aren't any major projects that I can see that need done right away. That's not to say I don't have anything to do, but at this point it's manageable. Thus, I'm taking the time to write this. I suspect that I'll have a busy fishing season this year, so if I don't post for several weeks, please don't lose interest. I have 280 other posts in the archives that you can read and hopefully be entertained by.