Saturday, March 25, 2017

Why Do Men Have Nipples



 Yesterday, March 24, was our wedding anniversary. Jan and I have been married 45 years and one day so far. We got a lot of acknowledgements from our kids and friends, and as is often the case, my youngest daughter, Autumn, took it a step further. She sent us a care package complete with macadamia nut candy and coffee from Hawaii and this interesting little book. This is the same gal that manages to find some of the most bizarre and hilarious cards for all occasions. I've gotten a card showing the Titanic sinking and a fellow trying to patch the hole and  requesting more duct tape with the caption- If only Dad was there. I've also received a card showing a fellow in a custom designed suit that has a hose from his backside to a helmet on his head saying he liked the smell of his own farts so much that he designed a special suit for just that purpose. I'm not sure why she sent me that card, except that she seems to be infatuated with bodily functions. Not sure where she got that from. Anyway, this book addresses a multitude of questions that you've probably wondered about, but were afraid to ask. Usually we ponder these lofty thoughts away from the maddening crowds and distractions of everyday life. Perhaps sitting in a deer stand for hours waiting for a buck to wander by, or trolling for salmon where the minutes turn to hours and you've replayed the scenario where a big king strikes so often that even you don't believe it's going to happen and your mind goes off in another direction in an effort to save your sanity. I haven't had a chance to read this book yet, but I did peruse it a little. Right off the bat it's entertaining. The dedication is to all the special doctors who inspired the authors- Dr. Pepper, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Cliff Huxtable, Dr. Scholl's and many others.  Chapter one starts off with the authors attending a Park Avenue cocktail party. One of the authors gives the hostess, whom they describe as a botox junkie, a kiss and tells her to lay off the collagen. "Kissing those lips is like making out with the Michelin man." I'm truly looking forward to reading the rest of it. When so much of what passes for entertainment on TV, or news for that matter, is so disturbing, it's nice to know that there are still intelligent people out there who have a good sense of humor and in the case of this book, which is a New York Times best seller, are able to profit from that humor. Way to go guys! Autumn, thanks for the care package, as always it's not necessary, you could just send money. However, we do appreciate that all the gifts were either edible or small enough that they won't take up too much space. We're trying to downsize you know. Thanks also to our other kids who blessed us with a phone call and well wishes on our anniversary. We love to hear from you. Frankly, I don't know how you remember the date. I had forgotten it until Jan told me on the morning of the big day itself.  Anyway, we're working on number 46 now, and with any  luck there will be many more to follow.

4 comments:

  1. Funny blog dad. Leave it to Autumn :)
    Sorry I didn't call on the big day. Love you both so much, Camille

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  2. Hi Camille- no worries. Yeah, Autumn seems to have a nose for the unusual and entertaining.

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  3. And a Belated Happy Anniversary to you both! (I forgot, and I was even there....)Here's to many more!

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  4. Thanks Jill. I really don't know how anyone keeps all the birthdays, anniversaries, doctor appointments and all the other time sensitive issues in their mind. I guess that's what appointment books are for. Anyways, thanks.

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