Monday, November 28, 2016

Land of the Free, Home of the Brave



















Well, it's Monday morning. That means back to work for the masses after a long Thanksgiving weekend. If you were one of the multitudes who decided to brave the long lines at the airport or the unbearable traffic on the roads, I hope that you've made it home safe and that you found your excursion worth the effort. I, on the other hand, didn't go anywhere. I did leave the house with my daughter Jennifer though, on a walk out to the beach. In celebration of Thanksgiving, when the main dish in many American homes is a turkey, I decided to wear my chicken hat. Had I owned a turkey hat, I would have worn it in honor of all the unselfish birds who gave their lives. As it was, I felt fortunate to have access to a chicken hat. I only wear it on special occasions, like Thanksgiving. Frankly, if I get any bigger, I won't be able to shove my fat head into anymore, and I'll have to give it to one of my kids or grand kids I suppose. I'm fairly certain that they'll all be fighting over the chance to be the owner of such a fine piece of apparel.As you can see from the picture above, I'm quite at home with the hat, but Jennifer looks like she's been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She has that deer in the headlights look. Unfortunately there were few people around to enjoy that fine hat on Thanksgiving. Everyone was either inside eating or watching a football game I assume. Just as well, I wouldn't want to be mobbed by people clamoring to touch the hat, hoping that the same bravery that it took to wear it would rub off on them. I would like to point out that there are probably few places in the world where a man is free to wonder the streets with such fine head gear. Is America great or what? No doubt you're wondering where I was able to purchase such a unique piece of clothing. Well, I'll tell you, I bought it for the unbelievably low price of ten dollars at a school carnival several years ago. I was helping my daughter set up her booth selling hats. I don't know why hats would be something that would be popular at a school carnival, but apparently they are, and when I spotted it my heart was filled with lust for that hat. I couldn't believe that they just ordered one. Had they purchased dozens, the amount of profit would have been through the roof. Being the crafty fellow that I am though, I convinced Jen to save it for me so I could buy it when the carnival opened. I could see the looks of envy of the other patrons as I walked through the school gym with my fine purchase. There were quite a few people staring as I passed through their midst. I held my tongue, but I really wanted to tell them that it takes a special person to be able to wear a chicken hat. Dream on folks. 

8 comments:

  1. My goodness,I never knew just how fashion-forward you are, Tom. My hat's off to you!

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    1. Yes Jill, well if you would like to rent the hat it's the very reasonable price of only $5.00 per day plus of course the shipping to get it to it's destination and back.

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  2. I am so jealous dad. I would do anything to have a hat like that (NOT). The pictures of you two are priceless :). Love you both, Camille

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    1. Hi Camille, I see that you're probably holding out for a turkey hat. Personally, I'd kind of like to have a king salmon hat. If I wore something like that out fishing, I'd probably draw fish like crap draws flies.

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  3. Why yes I am holding our for the turkey hat. I have yet to see one but will be sure to stock up on them when I do find them. Don't be jealous when I am sporting one :). Camille

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    1. Aha, I knew it! Perhaps I can contact some factory in China and have a half million of them made up so that I can get filthy rich selling them. You could be the first customer.

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    2. great idea dad but I've already been in contact w/China and they have already agreed to make me a million and a half of the turkey hats :). love you, Camille

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