Monday, March 18, 2013

Day's End

 
 

 
 
 
I'm still trying to get used to this new computer, so I don't know how this is going to turn out. For a change I really don't have much to say either, which is kind of odd since I can be such a windbag at times. Perhaps I should take up the bagpipes I'm so long winded on occasion. I like the way they sound, but I don't relish the idea of having to wear a skirt when I'm playing, especially if it happens to be a windy day.Can you imagine having to stand outside in the summer with all the gnats and mosquitoes flying up your kilt? I guess you wouldn't mind a little breath of wind then. I suppose it's probably unheard of for a bagpipe man to wear panty hose if it's too cold out. I imagine leotards would be looked down upon too.  I'm not all that fond of funerals, which is where I usually hear bagpipes being played. I might be popular at a St. Patricks day parade, but if the route was too long I'd have to stop and find a place to pee, which of course would throw the rest of the procession into a tizzy. Of course finding a place to practice would be a real challenge too. The house would be out of the question with the dog there- he'd probably want to sing along and before you know it he'd be asking for his snack with an Irish lilt to his bark. There would probably be signs springing up around town with a picture of a bagpipe inside a circle with a slash through it. There might be a revival of that old song about "Momma don't allow no ....... playing in here. In the song you would fill in the blank spot. In my case the song would be, Momma don't allow no bagpipe playing in here, momma don't allow no bagpipe playing in here. Well I don't care what momma don't allow, I'll play my bagpipe anyhow... and so on. I wonder if any bagpipe players get asthma or COPD. That would put a real crimp on the income. What happens if instead of blowing into it you suck the air out... would your lungs expand like a balloon? I see I'm going to have to do some research on these things now. What a strange idea to create an air sack for making music .I have an air sack, but the sound it makes doesn't sound anything like music, and I'm quite certain the notes I could play would be unwelcome at just about any funeral, or parade for that matter. What did they use for the original bagpipes, an animal bladder? Can you imagine the first guy who invented one trying to get his friends to join in the band? You'd have to be salesman of the year to pawn that idea off on someone. "Yes Sean, just stick your flute into the pig bladder, blow into it and listen to great new sounds it produces." Do they have music books for bagpipes, or would there just be one page of songs? I've yet to see Yanni incorporate them into any of his songs, although he's utilized the duduke and the didgeridoo. Well, somehow I managed to turn these perfectly tranquil scenes above into something totally unrelated to the pictures. I don't know how that happens, but nothing that I do really surprises me anymore. In any event, if you don't like what I've written, feel free to take the pictures and write a more fitting scenario. I guess I better get busy and find out what I can about bagpipes.


7 comments:

  1. "Yes Sean, just stick your flute into the pig bladder, blow into it and listen to great new sounds it produces."

    I've often thought of that way about cows. You've been around plenty of them and they aren't the cleanest of critters. Who was the first person to say "Hey, I bet if you cut that thing up and cooked it over fire it would taste good..."

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  2. Oh my gosh, where do you come up with this stuff! Well, the pictures are gorgeous anyway...

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  3. Hi Todd- I agree, they aren't the cleanest creatures- in fact they outright stink. I suspect the animal probably died and since they didn't want it to go to waste they cooked and thus beef steak was born.

    Hey Autumn- I don't know. I was sitting there staring at these beautiful pictures, but I didn't have an idea in mind of what to write. Usually if I'm just honest about whatever is going on, something comes to me. When I started thinking windbag,bagpipes came to mind. The mind is a mysterious thing. When I die you guys can give my brain to a medical science place. They'll either say, my God, this thing is a mess! or, Well hey, this one's hardly been used. Either way it will probably make medical history.

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  4. I've got Mamma Don't Allow No Guitar Playing stuck in my head...thanks for that.

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  5. When I lived in Sitka, an Office-Mate (alias William "Bill" Slater) played pipes. He would hike out to the causeway past the airport, and you'd hear their lonesome tones wafting through the fog in the harbor - very eery, very beautiful. Not so much when he'd don the kilt and whole contraption for his son's kindergarten show and tell day, and come by the office to treat us from the hallway - LOUDLY. Yeeeowch! Then one summer when I was working near Livengood, I got back from transporting a patient to find I'd acquired a helper. My boss found some random young man sitting in the dirt where the Elliott and Dalton diverge. He had a canoe, a bike, some duffels - and was playing bagpipes, in the middle of nowhere. Proves creativity gives you a leg up in the job market, especially in the middle of nowhere. Ah, that would be Mr. Mitchell Slife, speaker/reader of Sanskrit, degrees in biology and mine engineering, and wearer o' the kilt. He also opted to work Reddington's dog lot in Manley as a poop-scooper. Just for the experience. Right. Didn't last long. He built himself a Tiny House on wheels and this year married a lass who, no doubt, wore 5/8" seams...

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  6. Yeah, well, just substitute bagpipes, piccolos, harmonicas or oboes for a little variety and you can be humming all day- and there's really no need to thank me.

    I'm still waiting for a book from you Rene. With the life you've led, the people you've met and the places you've been I don't think you'd have any problem at all selling it.

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