Sunday, August 5, 2012

Fat Boys Return















Jan and I went over to Juneau last week for the specific purpose of shopping. We needed a variety of groceries that aren't available here, plus the prices here in town have gotten out of hand. While I was there I needed to pick up a few other items, including some shoes, some jeans and a new pillow. Well, I'm  here to report that Fat Boys have expanded their line. Not only can you buy Fat Boy Pants, but Fat Boy Shoes and Fat Boy Pillows. I went into Fred Myer's to buy some pants and the shoes. I tried on the jeans and there in the fitting room they fit just fine. That's because I didn't try walking anywhere with them. I think all fitting rooms should install treadmills so that you can see if the pants will stay where you want them after more than a few steps around a 3x4 foot room. I was walking up the dock several days ago pushing a cart, and by the time I got to the ramp my pants had slipped down to the tops of my thighs. Fortunately I had on rain pants or I would have been arrested for indecent exposure. I felt like I was in an  inner city contest with some of the youth there to see who could still walk with their pants half way down their bodies. I had my belt cinched so tight I could hardly breath and still the pants were loose. If I buy a smaller size I can't get them buttoned. What the... Anyway, while I was there I went looking for a new pair of shoes. I really like the Sketchers brand. The first pair I bought some time back fit great. They looked like I was wearing a pair of bowling shoes, but I didn't care, they felt good. When I got the next pair I couldn't find the exact replica. They looked a little better, but didn't fit as good. In a matter of a short time the sides split out- I guess I needed Wide.
So, I go to buy Wide Sketchers. Of course they don't have anything that even slightly resembles the previous two pairs. The only thing I could find in my size were ones that make my feet look like they belong on the bottom of a robot. I think if I were to wear the shoe boxes they would  have more style. When the say Wide on the outside of the shoe box, they really mean Fat Boy Shoes. Oh well. I went to Wal-Mart for the pillow. The one I've been using was great, but it was at least twelve years old and starting to get flat. I saw a nice one put out by Sealy that felt good in the store. Again, things like pillows need a little test to see if they're really the right fit. A bed in the domestics department to test out the pillows would come in  handy. I was all happy when I got home to spend the night on my Fat Boy Pillow. I went to put it into the pillow case and it was like trying to stuff a sausage into the casing. I kid you not, the pillow case ripped... in two places! The pillow is so big I think it's causing my neck and spine to get out of whack. I've woken up  with a sore back every night since I got it, except for today. Maybe it's starting to flatten out. Perhaps the folks that make the Sleep Comfort beds make pillows too. Something you can adjust to just the right size. If you have a fat head you make it bigger. Normal size and weight head, don't inflate it so much. They could also serve as substitute beach balls if you forgot yours on the way to the beach. If they don't do it I might have to. Guess it's time for church. Onward through the fog!

7 comments:

  1. Oh, yeah. I've hoarded all the old pillows in my house, I hate new shoes, and the pants? Well, Mom used to wear stretch pants to be fashionable but I've come to love all things elastic. And I don't call them 'fat-'anything, just aa-a-a-aaahhhhhhhh!!!

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  2. Ahaha, I'm sorry, but I can't believe you ripped the pillowcase! Anyway, hope your head can flatten that sucker out soon!

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  3. Ahaha, I'm sorry, but I can't believe you ripped the pillowcase! Anyway, hope your head can flatten that sucker out soon!

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  4. Hey Rene- I wish I would wear sweat pants around town, but for one- in the rain forest it wouldn't take long before they were saturated and falling down worse than my jeans and two- I've seen certain people wearing sweat pants out in public and next to running around town in your pajama bottoms they are hideous looking on men in particular.Unless you plan on wearing a jock strap with them, it's probably not a good idea for a man to wear them out in the open.

    Hey Autumn- you must have liked your comment so well that you posted it twice- Alright then. Yeah- the pillow case actually ripped. Its probably the first time in recorded history that such an even has ever happened- go figure it would be me setting the trend.

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  5. I know Camille- I know!

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  6. Oh man..I was bustin a gut readin that...wow...ripped your pillow case...maybe it's not the pillow that needed changed out after 12 yrs..I'd say the pillow CASE needed to go!

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