Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Port-a Potty Anxiety

I was working on the boat several days ago when it was mentioned to me that the port-a- potties were located in a spot that might make one think twice before using them. I saw on the news today that casinos were making a comeback after the downturn in the economy. Perhaps these johns are located here for folks who like to gamble. "So what do you think Marge- will I be able to run in, take a leak and charge back out before a rock bounces off the roof?" "I don't know Harvey... I'll bet you ten bucks you get beaned on the way out."
  I wonder if we are sending a mixed message to the tourists. On the way into town there's a huge concrete retaining wall that says Welcome To Hoonah, but then we have the potties, which are used almost exclusively by the tourists, located where rocks are periodically dislodged from the towering heights. If half the town were running around wearing t-shirts that said " Who mentioned you?" folks might get the impression they aren't welcome. That was kind of how I felt when I first came here almost thirty six years ago. There were only about a dozen cars here at the time and only about half of them ran, but on several I noticed bumper stickers that said "Custer had it coming." Not quite the same as having a gift basket from the local Welcome Wagon. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to tourism. I know that it's a necessary business and I understand why so many people want to come and view this beautiful area. I am opposed to the behaviour of some of the folks who come off the ships and I definitely don't care for the attitude of the cruise lines themselves who seem to forget that without the cooperation of the local communities they wouldn't succeed at all. While I was writing this I had an idea- perhaps I should go get some large rocks and  scatter around the base of the potties. Maybe I could even get ahold of one of those molds of a large Brown bear track and place a few of them leading up to the potties. If you were a gambler you'd have to guess what the odds are that you'd make it to the next set of johns before you peed your pants. Welcome to Hoonah! 

8 comments:

  1. That's hilarious, I should see about finding you one of those paw molds...perhaps scatter some scat around too. For real fun wait until someone gets I'm there and play a recording of a bear growling...

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  2. Hi Autumn- It's nice to see that you've picked up on my sense of humor. Unfortunately not everyone would find it amusing- especially the folks using the potty at the time.

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  3. hahahahah that was a good blog dad. I'm on board w/Autumn you should get some of the paw molds to put around to potty. Also when someone goes in the potty do the recording of a bear growling then the next time someone goes in there you can go up to the potty and start shaking it. hahahaah. YA RIGHT. do unto others as you want them to do unto you right?

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  4. Hi Camille- I don't want to be responsible for anyone having a heart attack on the john. Like you say- what goes around comes around so I guess I'll just keep it as an un-acted upon idea.

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  5. Quite simply the best thing I've ever read... Ever.

    You should not only scatter smaller rocks around it, but hide somewhere with a handful of pebbles. Wait for someone to go into the potty and then throw the handful of rocks at the side of it and yell "The mountain is coming down!!!!!"

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  6. It's really funny when there is a vent pipe coming out the top. When I was mining, me and a few others would play pranks on the poor guy who would go into the shitter. We'd wait a bit after he went in and then throw rocks down the tube hopefully to make a splash for whoever was sitting on the pot.. Fun times.

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  7. Hi Todd- Hi Brian- Holy cats, I didn't realize so many folks had such a mischevious spirit. Here I was thinking all along that I was alone in my thoughts of pranks and general outhouse humor. It's good to know I've struck a chord with you guys.

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  8. HAHA Dad, we're your kids...of course we share your michevious spirit...I think it's hilarious! Afterall, whomever put the shitters there HAD to have realized the rocks were prone to falling down at any given time....they obviously, however, did not think about the fact that someone from the city hasta go pick up said shitters to dump them every so often and are at the mercy of the rocks!

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