Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Remote Control

 It's been snowing and cold for the past several weeks ; in fact it's been setting records for both snow and cold all around Alaska. It's kind of  scary to think that it's not even winter yet. I didn't really want to post any pictures of snow blowing and trees bent with the force of the wind.  Instead I decided to post pictures of Rigby. He's got the right idea- hide under the sleeping bag or if you have to leave the warm comfort of bed, find a place in the sun to relax. While I was talking to my daughter Camille the other day, he hopped up on the back of the couch to look out the window. Apparently he saw something that didn't meet with his approval and started barking to beat the band. He's got a really shrill bark, about what you would expect from a small dog. It's really irritating to listen to and especially so if you happen to be talking on the phone or listening to something on TV. I happened to glance down at the remote control on my chair and had another great idea. What if I could get a remote that would control my dog's bark?You know, you're watching your favorite show and the dog goes ballistic because someone he doesn't like is walking down the street. Just hit the mute button on the remote and he can bark all he wants, but no sound comes out. I know that they make shock collars that are supposed to keep them from barking, but what about those rare occasions when you want them to sound off? Like if someone was sneaking in at night while you're sleeping or not at home, instead of a wimpy,little,squeeky bark that would alert the intruder that the dog he was dealing with was just a punk with a loud voice, what if, before you left the house or went to bed, you turned the dial  on the dog remote so that the bark sounded like a vicious German Shepard or Doberman Pincer? The intruder would think twice before entering your domain. Especially if he happened to spot huge piles in the front yard.Since I have so many other dogs leaving me gifts on my lawn,  I wouldn't have any problem  making people believe I had a large dog with the DOG MOTE. Just set it and go to bed.  If you happen to live in a gated community where all the dogs aren't much bigger than chipmunks, the DOG-MOTE would come with optional droppings in assorted big dog sizes. They would be plastic or rubber, thus weather resistant and you could move them around the yard to lend an air of authenticity. You could order either the Great Dane or St. Bernard size. No doubt burglars everywhere would think twice before attempting a break in. Just set the DOG MOTE before you tuck Fido into his down comforter and sleep in peace. I guess I'll be contacting the patent office soon.

11 comments:

  1. Dad you need to keep a journal of all your ideas! ;) I WOULD order a dog mote! My dogs could be picked off by eagles! Love you! BTW I already invented the cat mote. My cat meows like the roaring of a mountain lion...sooooo....

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  2. Oh the cat mote huh? I should have known... I come up with a great idea and you try to one up me. Well, how about the TOOT MOTE? You use it when you're in crowd of people and you have gas. Of course you don't want to take responsibility for the offensive odor,so by the simple flip of a button on the toot mote the sound is projected to the far side of the room, preferably to the area of someone you don't like. It's only $19.95 if you use your credit card and order in the next ten minutes soooo...

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  3. I have 5 dogs so a dog mote would make me very happy!

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  4. Holy Toledo Erika! Are you going to start training for the Iditarod now? I bet there are days up there where a dog sled would make more sense than an SUV.

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  5. Well dad, I already use that, I call it the fluffy mote, or fluff mote for short...soooo...comes in handy when I'm outside working with kids! My new line is "Wasn't me"...sooooo...

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  6. Rigby looks so cute! Give him a hug from his Aunty Jill!

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  7. Hi dad I would like to place my order for 2 dog motes and do u have any kid motes? hahahaha

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  8. Hi Autumn- seems like I've heard that liine before on a number of ocassions when you kids were growing up."Who ate Dad's cake? -"Wasn't me!"Who left wet towels on the bathroom floor?"- "Wasn't me." I don't think that line is anything new.
    Aunty Jill? Is there any limit to the amount of undue attention this dog gets? If he were a kid he'd be so spoiled I'd have to ban him from the house.
    Hi Camille- I can only wish I'd had Kid Motes when you kids were growing up.They would really come in handy on long flights too. I always seem to be booked on the plane that has forty families with little kids who are tired and crabby. Of course by the end of the flight I'm tired and crabby and crying my eyes out.

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  9. HAHAHA....I was busting up reading this....A kid mote...I could most DEF use 3 of those..maybe 6 in case I lose or break one! Or maybe I should just invest in shock collars for the kids....oh..you wanna cry n throw a fit...zzzzzz...oh...you don't wanna go to bed...zzzz....yes...yes I think 6 or more would be fantastical! Sign me up!

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  10. Maybe I could speak to a manufacturer and have them ready just in time for next years holiday season. We could sell them by the dozen for folks with large families or extra rowdy kids. Imagine the looks of joy that parents would have on Christmas morning when they opened up their presents and inside is the COSTCO sized, 24 pack, industrial strength Kid Mote. No doubt tears of joy would be streaming down the faces of many a happy parent.

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  11. oh man...I'm crackin up...poor kids aren't gonna be able to sleep tonight..better put on a muzzle..or..better yet....need to buy a dog mote for nights like this...hmmm

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