Friday, August 5, 2011

Corn Flakes VS Clown Flakes

 As you can see very clearly, I have a picture of a box of Kelloggs Corn Flakes here. For those readers who are too young to remember the days before cereal had names like Sugar Frosted Marshmellow Yum Yums with a hint of REAL WHOLE GRAINS, there was cereal that was rather plain. Things like Cheerios, and Shredded Wheat, Kelloggs Corn Flakes and Wheaties (breakfast of champions). You used to have to add your own sugar- how odd. I don't know what people did in the day before cereal became popular, probably had to suffer through bacon and eggs or sausage, maybe some hash browns and toast with homemade jam, possibly a stack of pancakes or waffles with real maple syrup. Fortunately people like Kellogg and Post came along and fixed it so that you could rush out the door to whatever the day had in store for you without having to wait for the sausage and eggs to cook. Yes sir, those were the days. Anyway, I'm only mentioning breakfast cereal because of what happened to me out trolling yesterday. I had started early and by mid afternoon, I was feeling a little tired, but nothing out of the ordinary. I spotted a sport boat anchored along the drag and made mention to myself of the clown who would anchor there, right in the middle of where people were dragging gear. Then I saw a number of other trollers in the area that until recently I had enjoyed by myself and I relegated them all to the status of clowns. Then, twice, I found myself dragging sixteen and a half fathoms of gear across fourteen fathoms of water, even though the GPS clearly showed me where I was and I should have known better, so I thought-" What kind of clown does this?" It was then it hit me. I went down below and looked in the cupboard where I store my food. There in the dim light I made out the label- instead of the Kelloggs Corn Flakes that I thought I'd eaten that morning, I had mistakenly picked up a box of Kelly's Clown Flakes.  No wonder! I checked the ingredients. Instead of corn, sugar, salt, malt, ascorbic acid and assorted vitamins and minerals, the Clown Flakes label boasted cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cakes, peanuts and snow cones. Circus food! Well, at least it didn't have assorted clown parts. None-the-less as the day wore on I had an overwhelming desire to apply some grease paint to my face and don a pair of giant shoes. Let this be a lesson to the readers; be aware of what you're eating. Just because something looks like the real deal doesn't mean that it is. Examine the label closely, and for crying out loud, if you find yourself feeling like you're surrounded by imbeciles, dolts, idiots, buffoons and incompetent clowns, by all means go check the label on your breakfast cereal, and if need be stand out in front of a Mac Donalds and give the kids a treat.

8 comments:

  1. lol..you always did Camille...never could understand how anyone could eat those things...specially when mom would poor em and then wake us up...and by the time we got down there, it was a big soggy mess...never has been a fave of mine..but funny post anyways dad..love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love corn flakes too Camille. My dad always liked corn flakes as well. It's the only cereal I ever saw him eat. Usually he was on his way to work by the time I got up, so who knows, maybe he snuck in a bowl of Rice Krispies when noone was watching.
    Amber- if you girls had gotten up when you were called, the cereal wouldn't have been soggy. You have more memories of that than I do. What I remember is how much bread we went through every day- like two loaves a day. I think we wore out several toasters.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHAHAHA I remember the soggy cereal as well, the worst thing was that it was soggy cereal from powdered milk, I remember straining my cereal from the milk and eating it that way. I remember the bread thing to we did eat a lot of bread, when you and mom would come home from the store there would be like 2 groceries bags full of just bread. I remember one time to mom running through the living room with a toaster that was on fire hahahahahaha. classic

    ReplyDelete
  4. I remember goin through the bread like mad...haha..don't remember the toaster on fire though...but I do recall the powdered milk...not as bad if it's super cold...but Jen was the Milk Maid child..ugh..think she STILL drinks it!!! We have good memories though dad...is always fun to be reminded of somethin cuz it always makes us laugh...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh my gosh, Camille, I was totally just thinking of that. Mom was so mad at us cause we were so shocked we just stared at her as she ran by with the toaster of flames! Mom and the amazing flaming toaster...yeah! And, FROSTED FLAKES...still the best!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh hell...I hafta go to bed soon...I must be tired..I'm like...all sorts of delirous laughing at the mental images that this post conjures up...I'm gonna end up wakin someone up...but damn that some funn stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hеy there, my nаme is Roxanne and I'm a fellow blogger out of West Caister, Great Britain. I like what you guys are up to. There's no dοubt that Bloggеr: Wilderness Blues- Ramblіngs
    fгom the Great Land is an examρle of intelligent work anԁ гeporting.
    Continue the good work guys: I’ve incorporated you guyѕ
    tо my blοgrοll. I'm sure it will improve the value of my own blog.

    Also visit my web blog: villainous

    ReplyDelete